ženske in pamet...

Tut spadajo pod fuzbal :)
mchaggis
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ženske in pamet...

Odgovor Napisal/-a mchaggis » 15.11.2006 03:06

Olden but golden:

An alleged true story from an Arsenal season-ticket holder

His season-ticket last year was an absolute plum seat half way up the
Highbury main stand close to the half-way line. In other words, a TV camera
style view.

Anyway, after the first few games of the season it became apparent that
despite all the home games being sell-outs, the two seats on his left were
always empty. This continued until just after Christmas when all of a sudden
a guy and his young son appeared there.

After a few weeks of sitting next to this guy and his son, he decided to ask
the guy why the seats had been empty for half the season.
The response is legendary:

'Yeah don't even go there mate. The wife bought me and my son a season
ticket but decided it would be a nice idea to give us them for Christmas. I
was f***in' raging!'
:sucks:

Zlatko
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Odgovor Napisal/-a Zlatko » 10.12.2006 02:01

Da ne bom nove teme dajal

Dear Alcohol,

First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around in the holidays, hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions.

While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences:

1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is
important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night?

2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce, along with a big Italian meatball and some stale chips (washed down with WINE & topped off with a Kit Kat after a few cheese curls & chili cheese fries)? I'm an eclectic eater, but I think you went too far this time.

3. Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance; I see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary, and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to get the front door key into the lock.

4. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening's debauchery may be in order, but the 3pm hangover immobility is completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the proper precautions a re taken (water, vitamin B, bread products, (aspirin) prior to going to sleep/passing out face down on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn, the hangover should be minimal & in no way interfere with my daily activities.

Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now & would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my pockets.

In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above & address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Thursday 3pm (pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions & hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership.

Thank you,
Your Biggest Fan

P.S. THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK :

1. Innovative

2. Preliminary

3. Proliferation

4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Specificity

2. British Constitution

3. Passive-aggressive disorder


THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.

2. Nope, no more beer for me.

3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.

4. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?

5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing
Shanks remastered:
"My idea was to build Liverpool into a galvanised bastion for hedge fund sustainability."

TiNcHyKa
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Odgovor Napisal/-a TiNcHyKa » 10.12.2006 23:32

:)ta alkoholna je fajn:p
ego sum qui sum:)

KOP-mistr
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Odgovor Napisal/-a KOP-mistr » 11.12.2006 02:12

TiNcHyKa napisal/-a::)ta alkoholna je fajn:p
Oooooooo, še ena navijačICA! Dabest! Kmal bomo že 3:97! :)

Cheers! :)
EPIC SWINDLER AND INTERNET TERRORIST

ViceP
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Odgovor Napisal/-a ViceP » 11.12.2006 15:00

Mene je strah, da si je samo Å tef spet nov nick dal :))
˝24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not˝

Zlatko
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Odgovor Napisal/-a Zlatko » 11.12.2006 15:03

Kje ta je že dolg cajta

Oz. kot bi žejenobčan reku © Goldie
Shanks remastered:
"My idea was to build Liverpool into a galvanised bastion for hedge fund sustainability."

x0x
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Odgovor Napisal/-a x0x » 11.12.2006 17:18

ceprou bi ti bolj pasu nick Štefek, kaj misls ?
Torres je od mojga bratranca iz Å¡panije frend, majkemi!

Zlatko
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Odgovor Napisal/-a Zlatko » 11.12.2006 17:42

Bi tebi modrica okol očesa?









šala mala..... brez zamere
Shanks remastered:
"My idea was to build Liverpool into a galvanised bastion for hedge fund sustainability."

livneza8

Odgovor Napisal/-a livneza8 » 11.12.2006 23:09

Slovenec je zjutraj v nekem lokalu v Ljubljani pil kavo in jedel
toast z maslom in marmelado, ko je k njemu prisedel Hrvat, ki je
važno žvečil žvečilni gumi. Slovenec ga je ignoriral, ampak Hrvat je
kljub temu začel s pogovorom. "A vi, Slovenci, pojeste cel kruh za
zajtrk?" Slovenec je, nejevoljen zaradi vsiljivosti, odvrnil: "Ja,
seveda ..." Hrvat je napihnil velik balon in potem nadaljeval: "Mi pa
ne. Na Hrvaškem pojemo le sredico. Skorje zbiramo v kontejnerjih, jih
recikliramo, potem jih predelamo v toast kruhke in nazadnje prodamo v Slovenijo." Hrvat je to rekel z zlobnim nasmeškom na obrazu, Slovenec pa ga je le tiho poslušal. Hrvat je kljub temu vztrajal: "A vi,
Slovenci, pojeste tudi vso tisto marmelado na toastu?" Slovenec je
spet mirno odvrnil: "Seveda." Hrvat, s čigumijem med zobmi, je spet
zlobno dejal: "Mi pa ne. Na Hrvaškem za zajtrk jemo sveze sadje. Vse olupke, koščke in ogrizke vržemo v kontejnerje, jih recikliramo,
predelamo v marmelado in potem prodamo v Slovenijo." Potem je Slovenec vprašal njega: "A vi na Hrvaškem kaj seksate?" Hrvat se je
vzvišeno nasmehnil in dejal: "Valjda!" Slovenec se je nagnil bližje k
Hrvatu in vprašal: "In kaj naredite s kondomi potem, ko jih uporabite?"
Hrvat: "Stran jih vržemo, kaj pa drugega?!"
Slovenec: "Mi pa ne! V Sloveniji jih vržemo v kontejner, jih recikliramo, pretopimo v žvečilne gumije in jih prodamo na Hrvaško!"

no offense to anyone.

Zlatko
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Odgovor Napisal/-a Zlatko » 12.12.2006 00:00

Un je boljši..

hrvat: sanju sm da je Lj zgorela.
slov. Ja jst sm tut mel sanje.. sm sanju zg.. pa vse je blo kr kul.. pa povsod napisi
hrv. kaj je pa pisal?
slov. ne vem ne znam cirilice.
Shanks remastered:
"My idea was to build Liverpool into a galvanised bastion for hedge fund sustainability."

Odgovori